Stop The Cycle!

It's 12:35 am and I'm sitting here, struggling to put my thoughts into words. It's hard to put them into words, because I'm afraid of being misunderstood, or offending someone. But I think is something that needs to be addressed, because I don't think people understand people like me; and there are probably thousands like me.

A lot of people grow up in "The Church" and are raised to be spiritual, holy and "good people." But when the real needy people come in, broken, hurt and needing friends, the "good and holy" people end up pushing them out by (probably) unintentional actions and words. The words, "acceptance" and "unconditional love" becomes cliche and old hat.

When a young, unwed pregnant mama comes waddling into a church service, she slinks into the back row, hoping to not be noticed because she's worried about the judgement that will be cast her way. She keeps her eyes cast down, because she's worried she'll see the sneaked peaks at her and the behind-the-hand whispers that people do.

A young couple comes in, newly married, yet they carry a 1 year old baby on their arm, and they share their story of leaving God, and having a baby out of wedlock, but they've given their lives to God again. Yet the story gets around like wild fire and the young woman is called a "whore" and "horrible woman." The man is crushed into the ground for having sex before marriage and is smeared with phrases like, "lack of respect for women" and "ridiculously immature." So they keep their heads down, listen to the sermon and sneak out as fast as they can, afraid someone will catch up with them and run them into the ground with their words and actions, again.

Young people come out of controlling environments (like cults, abusive parents, bullied at school, etc) and they reach out for friends. But they have a past. They're hurt. They're broken. They need friends. But they're rejected over and over, because they're "different" and people don't feel they "fit" with them. They get told things about themselves and others opinions on why they are the way they are, yet deep down inside, these people are broken, bleeding and hurting deep within. The person speaking to them has no clue the wounds they're inflicting upon a hurt and dying soul. They have no clue they're speaking words of death and destruction to them. They're absorbed into their own world of "religion" and how they feel they're helping, when in fact, it's just pushing them further away.

Where are the true Christians? Where are the ones who are like Jesus? Why do so many judge and not care about the deep wounds that surround them in their daily life?

Why do Christians "avoid" places like Starbucks (heaven forbid! they don't support the troops, or they support the President, etc) thinking that will help people see just how righteous they are? Why do they go on and on about which places they will go and which places they won't? Why do they spend time with this person, but not that person?

Jesus never singled anyone out to make them feel special, or unwanted. He never told anyone to go away, or that they couldn't spend time with Him. He spent time with a woman who had slept around with 5 different men. He ate dinner with people who were "unclean" and weren't "Christians." He spent time with the hurt, the broken, the needy. He didn't have clicks and established groups. He didn't tell someone to go somewhere else because they would be a better fit over there, or tell them that they weren't welcome because he already had his own set of friends.

I see this over and over, not only in my own life, but in the lives of many others. Christians need to rise up and stop this "click" thing!! They need to rise up and realize that people actually need help who are in those Starbuck's and are in those places that are "unclean" and "evil." We aren't to be apart of the world, but we aren't to reject it either. Push aside the religion of hypocrisy. Don't say that everyone is welcome, and then push aside the person you "don't like" or don't "feel good about" etc. Look at Jesus' example that He left behind and follow that. So often we pray with blindfolds over our eyes, because we "sense" something or we believe our own perceptions about people. We can't get beyond our thoughts or feelings. We can't see the need before us, because we are so focused on how we feel.

Reach out! be the life giving hand that gives a breath of refreshment and acceptance to the one who needs you. When you see the unwed pregnant mama, smile, give a hug, invite her over. When you hear a story of abuse and rejection, call, invite them over, be a friend. When you see a couple who is struggling to make friends, be there.

Stop the cycle of rejection. Stop the cycle of judgment. Meet them where they're at. Don't allow current friendships and relationships and "clicks" get in the way of ministering to the needy. Rise above religion and hypocrisy. Don't say one thing and do another. Be there for them. Just be. Love. Help bring peace and forgiveness to their troubled hearts. Accept. Show them the power of love. Show them who the Real Jesus is.

In my own personal life, I have face rejection over and over. I have been told that "I'm not rejecting you." But what they don't know is that their words and actions are hurting and reopening wounds that I keep working at healing. I have left all my family and friends because of the leading of Jesus. I have left God and returned to God. I was one of those moms who had a baby before I was married. I am one of those who was rejected and shunned because of that. I have been told I am worth nothing. I have been told God could never use a sinner like me. I have been told that sex outside of marriage was hell worthy and God would never forgive me. I have been told that I am unwelcome. I have been told to go somewhere else. I have been told that I don't deserve family or friends. I have been pushed around, forgotten about, unwanted, unneeded and ultimately, crushed. Rejection is something that everyone faces in life, at some point. I am not playing the "oh whoa as me, pity me" card here. I am stating facts. I am rising above it all. I am choosing to love those who reject me and push me out of their lives. But it doesn't lessen the hurt.

And I know that many others have faced the same type of things I have. There is a world of hurting people out there! Yet "The Church" doesn't seem to care! They're focused on doing all these good deeds that the actions of reaching out to hurt and dying (whether figuratively or physically) are completely forgotten about. The Church has become a place of clicks and hypocrisy and rejection of those who need it most. Jesus is more interested in our hearts, not our outward appearances. He is more interested in acceptance, than how comfortable everyone feels.